What to Do When You Feel Like You’re Drowning in To-Dos
There’s a moment when you open your laptop or glance at your calendar, and your entire body says "no" before your mind can even process a thought. You might push through that feeling, procrastinate, or fluctuate between both and label it as productivity.
It's not always the number of items on the list that feels overwhelming; often, it's the deep-seated belief that no version of yourself can complete everything without feeling like you're disappearing in the process.
So, the real question is: what is truly demanding your attention? Is it the task list itself or the internal pressure you've created around it? Is it the urgency of the tasks or your inability to give yourself permission to slow down?
Let’s explore this by acknowledging what lies beneath the surface.
Pause the chase for just 90 seconds
Just long enough to check which part of your body is tensing the most.
Is it your jaw, chest, or lower back?
Let that area serve as your cue.
Instead of trying to "relax," focus on noticing: When did I start clenching? What thought was I carrying at that moment?
Often, our feelings of overwhelm aren’t about the amount of time we have; they stem from how quickly our body believes it needs to earn the right to rest.
Rewrite your to-do list with verbs that feel human
Consider replacing words like "send," "finish," and "schedule" with phrases such as "reach out to," "follow up on," or "name the next step for." This isn't just about softening your language; it's about reconnecting with the tasks that require your attention.
When tasks are framed as choices rather than commands, they lose their harshness and become more approachable.
Ask yourself what’s not on the list but still taking energy
The conversation you’re avoiding. The question that's repeating in your mind. The issue you promised yourself you’d address once things settled down (which they never did).
Unwritten tasks often require more mental energy than those that are scheduled. Sometimes, the mere burden of keeping them in the back of your mind can make your entire to-do list feel more overwhelming than it truly is.
Notice what time of day your energy tends to collapse
Is it mid-morning when you’re on your second cup of coffee? Late afternoon after a series of back-to-back meetings? Or evening when you find it hard to finish what you started?
Instead of pushing through these times, try incorporating a mini ritual to help you reset. This could be a cup of herbal tea, listening to a song with headphones, or doing a quick stretch with your hands behind your back to feel your ribs expand.
While this may not change your deadlines, it can help alleviate the feeling of being rushed by your own body.
Ask, “What am I trying to prove today -- and to whom?”
This question does not always have a clear answer, and that’s okay. It often works best when you allow it to linger in your mind.
Sometimes, a to-do list isn’t just a simple list; it becomes a silent contract that signifies your capability, reliability, and strength, even when no one is observing.
When this happens, your nervous system might be operating on an old belief that safety is tied to productivity. It’s no wonder that it often feels like you’re never doing enough.
Build a “done” list as you go
The nervous system responds to a sense of completion. It appreciates knowing that there’s a defined structure.
Even small achievements, like “answering that email that has been sitting for too long” or “putting on real pants before noon,” matter.
Let your end-of-day routine be boring on purpose
Overstimulated systems struggle to find calm amid flashy rituals. Sometimes, the best way to unwind is through repetition and simplicity.
This could mean putting the same objects away in the same drawer, turning off the kitchen light with the same hand, or washing your face slowly to signal a sense of finality.
Predictability can be therapeutic, especially after a day that felt reactive or unpredictable.
There is no perfect way to navigate through feelings of overwhelm.
Here are some honest questions you can ask yourself during those times:
What story am I telling myself about what this to-do list says about me?
What is the actual threat here -- missing a deadline or feeling like I’ve failed if I do?
What would change if I completed the list but still felt this frantic inside?
Overwhelm doesn’t always stem from how much we carry; sometimes, it arises from how long we've been carrying it without being acknowledged.
Occasionally, the most calming thing isn’t a breathwork practice or a productivity app; it’s simply someone saying, “That makes sense. Of course, you feel that way.”
So let this be that acknowledgment.
And if it helps, go ahead and cross one thing off your list.
Even if that one thing is: “Sat still and noticed what’s hard.”
Your body is a sacred temple,
Jennifer
P.S. What's one thing you are doing to wind down this evening? Make sure you follow through. :)
